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Almost 1 Year - August 19, 2015

Almost 1 Year – August 19, 2015


Happy Birthday, Todd!

Todd’s first year is over…I can’t believe it!  This is the last of the “Baby Todd” updates.  Next month I’ll start my “Todd the Toddler” series!

Starting this final month of the year, I decided to change the format for these monthly updates.  At this point it seems kind of crazy to count up the weeks, now that we’re up to weeks 48-52!!  Now– I’m just making different categories based on what goes on each month…


Todd & Ashley - August 10, 2015

Todd & Ashley – August 10, 2015


  • 1st bus ride (FHC Skyfair, 7/25)
  • 1st time in his new Diono Radian RXT Convertible Car Seat (7/28)
  • 1st time using toddler toothpaste (7/31)
  • 1st time that Eric put Todd to bed (8/8)
  • 1st time in pool float (8/10)
  • 1st and 2nd dunks underwater at the pool (8/10)
  • 1st time watersliding (8/11)
New car seat - July 28, 2015

New car seat – July 28, 2015


  • 1st word? “Jump” – Eric & I both said it and then Todd did (7/31)
  • says “nyam/nyom”
  • he said “cat” right after I did (8/4)
  • he said “dog” right after I did (8/5)
  • he says “ba” and “ga” a LOT.  It could be “ball” because we play with balls a lot.
  • he combines all of his sounds like he’s making sentences: ba, ga, na, nam, ma, da, gee, etc


  • we’re finishing formula can #68, which means he consumed about 5 cans this month (same as last month)
  • he enjoyed eating wild blackberries during stroller walks
  • he eats 3 meals per day
  • fruit is always a favorite!
  • I re-introduced romaine by breaking it into tiny bits (7/27)
  • he blows bubbles in his smoothie and other liquids while smiling (see video)
  • he curls his tongue to sideways
  • he tries to bite me and thinks it’s hilarious


  • he climbed:
    — partially up the side of the Pack ‘n Play
    — on his car then onto a speaker (7/30)
    — into the oven drawer (8/3)
    — on a 13″ tall bin under microwave (8/3)
    — onto the 15″ tall speaker (by itself) (8/4)
    — onto the couch (a lot) (8/16)
    — up & down from the armrest side of the couch safely (with a 5″ bin underneath)
  • he safely backs himself down off couch (he started 7/21 and was proficient by month’s end)
  • he backed down off the couch & papasan chair at the condo (8/13)
  • I arranged the couch/coffee table with pillows & bins for safety, so he can freely get up/down (8/17)
  • I moved the table because he kept wanting to climb on it (8/20)


  • he sits himself on his Little Tikes car and started to push it with his feet
  • he was able to turn his Little Tikes car from standing (8/19)
  • he loves playing on pillows, especially on my bed
  • he stepped down on bass drum pedal hard enough to make a sound, then jumped up and down
  • he loves to play drums and keyboard
  • he cracks up chasing us and being chased
  • he “dances” by bending his knees and he steps rapidly in place
  • he reaches up to put balls/toys in the hoop of Little Tikes basketball hoop
  • he loves being outside and gets upset when we come in
Todd at Beehive Reservoir - August 12, 2015

Todd at Beehive Reservoir – August 12, 2015


  • he stood up on his Little Tikes car and let go
  • he did a little bit of walking with both hands on thighs (8/2)
  • he stepped over my legs in control (8/4)
  • he did a forward somersault off the Aerobed (8/7)
  • he’s starting to run!
Todd climbed on a box - August 4, 2015

Todd climbed on a box – August 4, 2015


  • he does the “tantrum cry” when he doesn’t get what he wants
  • he does the “twist & drop” to avoid being picked up
  • he does the “full body arch back” to try to get away
July 26, 2015

July 26, 2015


  • he seems to look at me for approval
  • I whisper in his ear, “Do you know that I love you a lot? Do you know that?”
  • he fed his bottle to my mouth
  • he offered his “pillow blanket” to my mouth (Little Giraffe Bella™ Blanky)
  • he stood outside his crib waiting and “asking” for his pillow blanket (8/3)
  • he keeps his “pillow blanket” with him a lot
  • he can’t get enough of Eric when he gets home from work
July 26, 2015

July 26, 2015


  • he got interested in the prints on his shirts (while wearing them)
  • he pulled a photo album and an entire (empty) shelf off the bookcase (7/30)
  • since he always races toward our dishwasher when it’s open at home, Eric opened all the dishwashers at Home Depot when we went shopping to tease Todd…
Looking at all the open dishwashers at Home Depot - August 15, 2015

Looking at all the open dishwashers at Home Depot – August 15, 2015


  • the left side hair over his ear is longer than the right
  • a shopper at Haggen said “You have a picture perfect baby. That’s what a baby should look like!” (7/28)
  • he does this funny “shaky thing”
  • he put his hands together as if clapping (8/18)
  • he laughed when I jump-roped (8/19)


  • he loves his family!
  • his cousin Kylie came over (7/22, 8/19)
  • his Grammy & Granddad (Eric’s parents) came over (7/24)
  • his aunt Karin & cousins Ashley & Eli stayed with us for a week, and we went to Wenatchee for rollerblading, waterslides, swimming at the pool, hiking, miniature golf and more (8/7 – 8/14)
Ashley & Todd - August 7, 2015

Ashley & Todd – August 7, 2015


  • he woke up at night 5x
  • he fell asleep on the couch with Ashley (8/12)
  • he took 1 crib nap (8/19)
  • morning swing naps started a bit later in the morning and typically didn’t last longer than 2 hours
  • no other changes in sleep to report
Ready for bed - August 18, 2015

Ready for bed – August 18, 2015


  • he had 6 “poo misses” and the rest of his poops made it into the toilet
  • we bought a new toilet seat (8/15) for $40 at Home Depot that has a built-in child seat (but, for now, Todd still seems to need his Graco Contour Potty Ring because he stays put better with bottom in more of a “hole”)
  • one poop in the toilet consisted of 3 balls each connected by one of my hairs…Haha! (8/2)

(i.e. number of poops that didn’t make it into the toilet starting December 3, 2014, when we starting toileting Todd at 3.5 months old)

  • 7 in December
  • 6 in January
  • 1 in February
  • 1 in March
  • 1 in April
  • 5 in May
  • 7 in June
  • 12 in July
  • 4 in August (through Aug 20)

Total = 44

Todd in the oven drawer - August 3, 2015

Todd in the oven drawer – August 3, 2015

See you next month!

One year old - August 21, 2015

One year old – August 21, 2015

~9:30 PM on August 21, 2015

Usually my posts are so long and detailed that they take days to compose.  Right now, I’m attempting to get this done tonight.  The picture above was taken just a short while ago.  In the moments before I took it, I felt the same heart swell that I feel at least 1000 times every single day.  I love Todd so much that it makes me get a little teary at various moments all the time.

When I look back on my life before Todd, I know that it was really, really good, but I can’t help but look at the “before Todd” pictures and see that HE wasn’t there.  I see a certain emptiness.  It’s so weird and so wonderful.  And scary, too:  I don’t know how I would go on if something bad happened to him.  But I can’t think about that…

Actually the purpose of this post is to talk about today.  Today was Todd’s first birthday.  It was a great day.  I knew it was coming.  I’ve thought about it a lot.  But even I was surprised at how emotional I felt today.  It was a happy teary kind of day.

The day started when Eric surprised me with a thoughtful card.  Todd and I had a fun morning in the house, then after his nap I took him to the Imagine Children’s Museum (Everett, WA) for the first time.  Eric was able to join us there, and then we went out to dinner.  Back home, there was the usual evening rowdiness followed by my wild, active toddler turning, like putty in my arms, into my sleepy, cuddly baby.

When I look at Todd and I feel so much love, I know that it’s because he’s made from us.  Not like, “he’s our son so of course we love him,” but somehow it feels like much more than that.  Todd is the product of a LOT of love that Eric and I have for each other.  And I do believe that higher powers were at work in creating him, too…

Now– this might seem like an out-of-place time to say this, but it’s only true:

Todd’s Birth Day was THE worst day of my life.

I felt that way from Day 1.  Is that shocking?  It feels very shocking to me.  But it’s the truth, and it’s something that I live with every day to some degree or another.  I first mentioned it when I wrote up the post about Todd’s Birth Day (it’s at the very end), and I bullet-point listed the reasons why.  At the time, I was almost 1 month post-partum, and I honestly figured that the feeling would be temporary.  I mentioned closure in that post, but now I doubt if I’ll ever get full closure.

But– today I did have one epiphany that gave me a small degree of that closure.  What I realized today was that the overwhelming, almost painful love that I feel for Todd MUST BE THE SAME THING as “that” feeling– the euphoria, the adrenalin rush, the birth “high”– that I wanted but I absolutely did not feel at the time of Todd’s birth.  (Recall that all I was capable of feeling was relief.  I was 100% physically depleted.)

I’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time.  I knew that Todd’s birthday would be so much better than his birth day!  But like I said at the beginning, I wasn’t prepared for how emotional I’d feel.

So I’d like to take a moment to rejoice in all the ways that today brought me pleasures and joys that Todd’s birth day did not:

  • On Todd’s birth day, I endured tremendous physical pain and exhaustion.
    Today there was none of that!
  • On Todd’s birth day, I didn’t have him until late in the day.
    Today I had him with me all day!
  • On Todd’s birth day, I only got to hold him for a few minutes.
    Today I held him, hugged him, and loved him all day!
  • On Todd’s birth day, Eric, Todd and I didn’t have any family bonding time.
    Today we had plenty of bonding time!
  • On Todd’s birth day, my niece Ashley (who was with me during labor) wasn’t able to see him at all.
    Today she saw him via video chat!
  • On Todd’s birth day, I had to go to the hospital, and I felt like a failure.
    Today, I was in the vicinity of the hospital, and I actually haven’t felt like a failure in a long time!


  • On Todd’s birth day, I didn’t feel euphoria.
    Today I felt it!  Every day, I feel it when I’m with Todd.

Todd’s birth day WAS the worst day of my life.  However– every one of the ~365 days that he’s been in my life since have been the BEST days of my life.

Here are a few more pictures from today:

Morning bottle

Morning bottle

Elisa & Todd

Elisa & Todd

At the Children's Museum

At the Children’s Museum

Well it seems that it’s just a wee past midnight now, so it’s actually August 22nd now.  But I did fulfill my goal.  So, GOOD night!


"There are those who are appalled because I am so vocal about injustice, yet I am equally appalled by their silence." Lujene Clark

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